Not much.
Depresia incepe sa se estompeze. Nu imi mai simt sufletul la fel de chinuit si la fel de negru, dar inca mai caut rostul trezitului din somn si al datului jos din pat. Ca veni vorba de trezit, am inceput sa ma trezesc in miez de noapte, in timp ce visez frumos, cu o stare de anxietate mare. Motive? Din cele mai diverse si de cele mai multe ori legate de problemele de la birou, pe care inainte nici nu le bagam in seama cat timp eram acasa.
Am inceput sa pun pe mine, nu stiu cate kilograme, dar cu certitudine celulita. Cica se face de la dulciuri, iar eu mananc tone de bomboane. Inca mai sap cu harletul prin gradina, noroc ca mai am ce sa sap. Inca imi mai sare tandara din nimic, inca mai simt ca sunt "bolnava", inca mai astept sa ma linistesc si viata sa mi se para cat de cat traibila si la locul ei.
Din ce in ce mai multi prieteni imi spun ca se vede schimbarea in bine pe chipul meu, dar eu cand ma uit in oglinda vad o epava. Cica e subiectiva treaba la mine. Deocamdata nu tusesc, nu expectorez nimic, dar astept sa vina si zilele in care sa se "curete" plamanii, ca am auzit ca asa se intampla. Bani n-am economisit, caci am facut shopping, ca sa-mi treaca nebuneala. Am cheltuit mai mult decat cheltuiam pe tigari.
Maine se implinesc 6 saptamani.
Acum o săptămână
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