Increderea in sine, pasul 2

2. Learn to overcome a fear of self-love. Self-love is often equated with narcissism, egotism, and some kind of one-way trip to introversion. This is probably partly because the English language has a hard time dealing with the word "love" – it has to cover a lot of territory for the many different types of love out there. It is also mired in the confusion people feel about the messaging to do good unto others, to always be charitable, and to give, give, give, of oneself. While these are noble intentions, they can often be taken out of proportion and used to downplay putting one's own needs and wants beneath those of others out of a fear of being perceived as selfish or inward-looking. Again, this is about getting the balance right.
  • Healthy self love is about being your own best friend. Self love is expressed not through preening oneself all day and constantly announcing how great you are (those are signs of intense insecurity); rather, self love is about treating yourself with the same care, tolerance, generosity, and compassion as you would treat a special friend.
  • Treat yourself with care, compassion, and respect.
  • Avoid overlaying how you think other people see you; how does it help you to capitulate to their idea of you? Only you can give yourself the esteem boost needed.
  • Self love falters when we fall into the realm of addiction. Alcoholism, drug addiction, internet addiction, and all similar addictions are a sign that you're hurting deeply but also that you don't want to face up to the opportunities presented by working through your pain.
2. Incearca sa depasesti teama de a te iubi pe tine. Iubirea de sine este adeseori etichetata drept narcisism, egocentrism si un fel de calatorie "dus" catre introvertire. Asta se datoreaza in mare parte faptului ca substantivul "iubire" trebuie sa acopere o gama larga de sentimente. Oamenii au mai fost indusi in eroare si de interpretarea iubirii ca "a face bine celorlalti, a fi mereu plin de caritate, a da, a da, a da de la tine". In vreme ce acestea sunt intentii nobile, ele pot fi adeseori interpretate disproportionat si folosite gresit, pentru ca nu cumva sa trecem drept egoisti ori interiorizati daca punem nevoile si dorintele noastre deasupra celorlalti. Toate astea se datoreaza unui dezechilibru in interpretare.
  • iubirea sanatoasa de sine inseamna sa-ti fii cel mai bun prieten. Iubirea de sine se exprima nu prin lauda de sine si anunturi constante despre cat de bun esti (astea sunt semnele unei nesigurante acute), ci prin tratarea ta cu aceeasi grija, toleranta, generozitate si compasiune cu care ai trata un prieten special;
  • trateaza-te cu grija, compasiune si respect;
  • evita sa iti mai inchipui ca esti asa cum crezi tu ca te vad ceilalti. Numai tu poti sa dai stimei de sine impulsul necesar.
  • iubirea de sine se clatina atunci cand cadem in capcana dependentelor. Alcoolismul, drogurile, dependenta de internet si altele asemanatoare sunt un semn ca suferi profund, dar si ca nu vrei sa te confrunti cu ocaziile pe care ti le-ar oferi incercarile de a-ti rezolva durerile.
(aici parca e ceva mai multa informatie)

Un comentariu:

Carmen spunea...

Eu as vrea sa ma opresc un pic la asta: " tratarea ta cu aceeasi grija, toleranta, generozitate si compasiune cu care ai trata un prieten special;" si sa spun ca din cand in cand rulez mental cate un control rapid, ma vad in diverse situatii si imi pun o singura intrebare: "Daca ar fi cineva drag mie in situatia respectiva, ce sfat i-as da?" si atunci stiu ce am de facut.
Despre dependente ca si simptom al unei suferinte/boli sufletesti ar fi multe, foarte multe de spus, poate alta data :)